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Jeff Foxworthy Quotes
- “[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.”
- “The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
- “If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.”
- "Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother -- you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.”
- "I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.”
- “You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!”
- “Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.”
- "I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living, ... I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.”
- "Jeff puts his relationship first and foremost and realizes I do the same, so he really watches out for me and makes sure I don't have to do anything on the show that would upset David. I was warned when I started a sketch comedy show that they could be cutthroat, but it's been like a family.”
- "If men have a smell it's usually an accident.”
Check out other great comic quotes.
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, Nov 18 2007, 1:54 PM EST
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