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Robin Williams Quotes

Robin Williams
  • "Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."
  • "Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
  • "Carpe per diem - seize the check."
  • "Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money."
  • "Comedy is acting out optimism."
  • "Cricket is basically baseball on valium."
  • "Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus."
  • "Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason."
  • "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
  • "Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work."
  • "I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out."
  • "I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
  • "If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?"
  • "If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
  • "No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."
  • "People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House."
  • "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
  • "Reality: What a concept!"
  • "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
  • "Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
  • "The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev."
  • "The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery."
  • "The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"
  • "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
  • "We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself."
  • "We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins."
  • "What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."
  • "When in doubt, go for the dick joke."
  • "When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'"
  • "When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?"
  • "Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
  • "You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
  • "You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."



Latest page update: made by alexberg , Nov 25 2007, 6:01 AM EST (about this update About This Update alexberg Edited by alexberg

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